The Key to Dealing with Pukey Kids

Pukey Kids.  Not a metaphor but a literal pukish nightmare.  That was K last Sunday (but Daddy SK got that covered, phew) and Z on Monday (which I had to deal with).  Whoa… nothing could stay down!  Not cereal, not bread, not breastmilk.  Least of all breastmilk.  I tried 3 times and he merlioned 3 times on me!

spouting merlion

For the uninitiated to Singapore, the Merlion is a mythical figure of a lion head and a mermaid’s tail who vomits, I mean spout, a continuous, gushing stream of water. Some say as long as the merlion spouts, the country remains prosperous. But no.  Z should not keep spouting. I will not prosper on puke.

So after the first time, I was in total shock as he puked up all over.  *I held him away from me as best as I could but the projectile still managed to reach me and my sheets and my bed.  I bathed him, stripped off the sheets, had a bath, cleaned up the mess, scrubbed his and my clothes, then he wailed.  So I thought he was hungry.  Tried to feed him again.  Repeat reading from *.  **** It was horrifying.  By the third time, I was just repeating to myself, “I’m your mother.  I love you.  Tho you puke on me.  I love you.”  That wasn’t a declaration of love.  It was a reminder of why I’m doing this.

But I had a game plan by the third time.  I haven’t actually tried it, thank God, he stopped puking.  But if I remember to follow my plan next time, it should work.  I figured my mistake was holding him away from me when he starts retching.  Instead, I should hug him close, just take the vomit like a man like a good mother (self-sacrificial and all…), jump out of bed asap and well.. just clean up the floor.  And then bathe.  That’s a whole lot easier than cleaning up the cumbersome sheets, protector and mattress.

I feel like a martyr.  Just like a good soldier who throws himself on an exploding grenade to save his teammates!

Captain America throws himself on grenade

Captain America throws himself on grenade